A DIFFERENT BEAT

                I walked alone in the long corridors of my college, my Alma Mater where I learnt many things beyond the meaningful lectures and heavy text books that gave us sleepless nights before the examination. It was here I learnt lessons from the syllabus of life. For a girl like me, studying in a government college was a wholesome experience. It was in this corridor that I learnt that there was no harm in shaking hands with guys, girls and boys could be good friends, love does not mean marriage always, laughing means join the group even when you are being laughed at, style means mis-matches, doing something means doing in forty five different ways, politics means not just government, and still many more things. A breeze swept past my face and I felt fresh like never before. The air was pregnant with the smell of ripe mangoes and dusty passages. The silent reminiscence of echoes of strikes and cheers ...

Missing notes of loosened strings, Fading shades from worn-out brushes, and, ticking seconds by His watch, I call these dregs of life. Disarrayed figments of monotonous breaths fill my canvass of penniless life. My eyes see darkness within and ears hear echoes afar, Hapless in a game of rules I lie. Count my hair, you stop at three. Teeth, you never start. Shades, I have is all of grey. The self is alone, no shadows near, I hear myself cry. Old is not always gold. Old is sometimes cold rarely bold, and frequently sold in cheques to white blocks. Old age, spare me your troubles Or hear me swear, with this little air in me left. You tear me apart and suckle me shriveled, for Ruthlessness is your father.

O mother! I have lost a battle fought unfairly in the darkest hours of humanity. Brutalized in the claws of a menagerie, I stare into deepest trenches of agony. In their inhuman acts of choosing turns, they strangulated my dreams and trampled my individuality. Rocked from holy to unholy dust In seconds of beastly lust, I weep not in tears, but blood. Into the despairs of endless torture, I fell dignified like a fallen duchess. O mother! Hear me say. Hunt the hounds and feed them my gangrene. My nails have buried bits of their flesh, despair not mother, feed the rabid dogs. O mother! I am hurt. I want a drop of water to wet my lips that are swollen from some rotten worms. I have broken bones and disjoint hips, and wings that have lost all its feathers. O mother! Am I still alive? Treasure my reveries, for I give up. My breath is shorter than a millisecond And I don’t know for how long, I will breathe, slowly into death. O mot...

When my mobile phone beeped I stretched my long fingers (Appu has never said, but my other friends have that they are artistic!)from under the cream quilt that my dad had bought from (I don’t know which part of the world…US? London? Brazil? Italy? oh not Italy, for he’s never been there) somewhere. My fingers chase the papers in aflutter from the loosely held clip file that I had placed carelessly on the nearby dressing table the previous night. Disappointed, my fingers return to the bed. A search here, a search there. Tisshshshshsh….or was it clingngngngg….or dishshshshsh..The sound is inconsequential in this context. The only thing that bothers me is I have to reach for the bed lamp (argh! That piercing feel you get with lights on when you have been sleeping like you don’t know for how long).With half opened right eyes and fully shut left eye I scan the granite floor. Delivery successful. Battery out! I take the three pieces from the floor and in an unscientific temper reorgan...

The cold sweep of air moved its fingers through my hair. The chillness did not beat me harsh, I walked tired and lost but strong at heart. My bosom heaved in rhythm wild I clutched the bundle in my hand. It moved.I didn't. In the darkest moments of my life I lay the bundle on the roadside. Near the grove of hope. Dogs,keep away. That is all I can say. In the darkness of that night I watch for a while, I try to read its expression. I am losing it forever, but it does not seem to care. Atleast not for now. My..no..no..that is painful Bundle is asleep. No parting kisses No lullabies No hugs No caresses Hate me Bundle..Hate me... I walk away not into the streets lighted but into passages congested where my dreams are for sale. A bundle I have lost, Bundle I have lost. Lost to live. Bundle...Wrapped in tatters, Bruised with a burden, Showered with curses, But blessed with a life. Bundle,Live long. For I have none,but thee. I stop. Not to wa...

Dear Reader, If you have time to spare, spend it with me for a while...I know it is a bit long..Hope I don't bore you..It wudn interest u, I should say..After all, why should u know all these things..Well,lemme make it clear..I don mind if u dont join me here either..I am used to it..being all alone..n I hav no complains.                                                                      luv,                                                                              Chinnu a.k.a M alavika I looked at the mirror that had stains and specks of dirt uniformly spread on it. May be, no one had ever cleaned it. They remai...