A DIFFERENT BEAT

She walked and walked.Distance seemed diminutive.But,deep within, she had delved into miles of agony that was stocked in the last few days. Ahmm...a deep sigh. She could feel the burn in her eyes,the heaviness in her heart..the off-beat rhythm of life was consuming the being in her. Her legs could not hold her any more.She struggled a step or two and finally gave way to the physical intricacies that conspired with her mental tortures. She tried to sit,but her body competed hard and pulled her down. Slowly..slowly..slowly.. Her head touched the ground.The blackness of tar in front of her entered her eyes and filled her vision... People crowded around her. "Hey,somebody take her to a hospital." "Who is this?I haven't seen her before." "Excuse me,Have you seen the entire population before?",a silent thinker engrossed in his ever silent thoughts. Looks,glances,gapes,thoughts,counter thoughts. "Mummy,what happened to her?",tiny Ritika enquired. ...

"Sunday...funday",danced Rinku to her tune.Mumma was home and it meant more fun.She always looked forward to this day of the week because it gave her reasons to cheer.A leave from the world of still toys-dolls that never replied to her,teddies that never cuddled her or even her favourite dompu,the stuffed chimp,who never stopped his giggle. Mumma had promised a game of hide and seek, this weekend if she had conducted herself well at the party. "Yes..I had."the six year old felt proud. Hide and seek was her favourite game. "Mom,are you ready?Be fast." Finally her mumma had come.Games on. Hip hip hurrayyyy..... "Today,you'll count",Mumma proclaimed. Not interested. "Last time it was me",a convincing tone. "OK..jus till 10." With numbers,that was her comfort zone."No,twenty." Mumma had better intentions.Games plus mathematics plus exercise. "Nooooooooooooo.....you'll go faaaaar." "No.I promise ....

"Who are you?" bang came the question. who,me, what? A thought that never shot across. Will a name do? Does the answer suffice it? Existence deflated into few syllables. I am worth more than a name. If not I am suffering an identity crisis. Yes,I am worth more than a name!

"Does it?" The question is pestering. But I have no choice but to answer. There is no need to think. The reply is "Yes,it does." No doubt, It does.

Into the distance of a stare I poured my emotions and let it mix.That in a moment led me astray. But all at once, I felt a pain of none,but existence. Yesterday,a memory ajar Today,an experience par Tomorrow,an uncertainty far. If not for these life was made, no reasons would have I to live a day. For all these times so turbulent makes hope a sweet inspiration to live a day when smiles would spread. If not for it, Then why call this a state of existence and bother we much to live a day.

Each step in precision made to stumble not in the aisle way; cynosure of all eyes,walk I in a trembling yet composed self. Smiles or stares,I cannot mark.But all I know is, the looks devour me. My apparel in cream and gold tears myself from me, When chains around my neck are nothing,but bonds of suffocating threads. What entertains them, I know not. Or is it the entire me?I wonder yon. Flower girls by my side lead me on And all dear ones girdle me strong. When,from within, a poor,timid heart cries out in silence loud "Yo!Only if I could run free." Not an ear to spare a thought, I still march on- carrying with me A thousand pieces of a crushed soul. to a life I would exchange for all the pleasures of life. All I love is to be lonely and free, To run wild through the misty mountain ways to an untrampled spot never found so mystic. Will I echo my name far and near to every spot of unheard bower ...

All alone in white he stood staring at me for long; Lost in the wilderness between was thoughts of intense love. Calm and pale,a man so fair Never in my life had seen,o dear When danced I a step or two To please my Lord,not so near. Rounded was he, that I cupped in my hand But still far was he O!Only if I could touch thee. Romantic and tempting,he sat In a kingdom so far Born to rule,a night so cool and me thy girl,so pure. On a mission thy go when lost are you: for days I weep cause I cannot see you. But today you reign there in a distant land Beyond my reach and beyond my touch O!yet I am happy for you fill my dreams and guard my sleep If not for you,my dreams never would shine. All for you,my Love I wait,all day O! my Mr.Moon!