The mood in the room was tense.I could feel an air of apprehension looming in.My eyes never shared a look.My lugubrious expression revealed the inner self.I couched in a corner of the room.People moving in and out seemed to be the order of that room.Some stood back.Some just observed me from a distance.I could feel a thousand glares.I pulled my shawl over my shoulders.I was feeling cold in a packed room where ventillation was minimal.Biological responses to an onerous situation.Words never reached me,but the buzz did and it penetrated my senses like the drill.Their thoughts were readable.What will be the verdict?Will she be convicted?
Did they expect an answer?
My defence was over and I knew how it would turn out.All these while,I had been preparing myself to digest the decision.Suddenly silence swished in.Everybody got up like keyed toys.I struggled hard to stand on my feet.A sense of nullity.
I sighed.A heavy sigh.Once more.Still the heaviness within, lasted.
The Judge came and took his chair and the proceedings began.I stood in the box.Patience and fear mixed in proportion is a potion which wipes out sensitvity.I had drunk it beyond the prescribed amount and felt dizzy.I tightly held on to the rails for support.The Judge was delivering the verdict.I could just collect a few words here and there.
"Dereliction of duty...wasted whole time...watched T.V...played computer games...slept all while...exceeded the limits...does not know what it means to study daily portions...worked least,partied most..."
He went on.
"studied only on the night before examination...ideas packed off into short term memory...points lifted from market notes...plagiarism...reading summary of summary of huge novels...injustice to literature..."
He continued.
"and still wants high mark."By now,I knew his tone suggested hard times ahead.I turned immune to the sounds and sights around, engulfed in thoughts of 'anyway I gotta live'.
And then I heard what I had been waiting for.What I had been never hoping for.
"Thus, she stands convicted.I sentence her to 12 years of struggle.No good job,No promising future,No dreams,No hopes,No ...No...No....."
A Life Sentence.
All the Nos stabbed me a million times into a swoon.
I heard a bell ringing somewhere.I was still alive.The sound became more audible.It was ringing straight into my ears.
I opened my eyes.Switched off the alarm.The room was empty.
Did they expect an answer?
My defence was over and I knew how it would turn out.All these while,I had been preparing myself to digest the decision.Suddenly silence swished in.Everybody got up like keyed toys.I struggled hard to stand on my feet.A sense of nullity.
I sighed.A heavy sigh.Once more.Still the heaviness within, lasted.
The Judge came and took his chair and the proceedings began.I stood in the box.Patience and fear mixed in proportion is a potion which wipes out sensitvity.I had drunk it beyond the prescribed amount and felt dizzy.I tightly held on to the rails for support.The Judge was delivering the verdict.I could just collect a few words here and there.
"Dereliction of duty...wasted whole time...watched T.V...played computer games...slept all while...exceeded the limits...does not know what it means to study daily portions...worked least,partied most..."
He went on.
"studied only on the night before examination...ideas packed off into short term memory...points lifted from market notes...plagiarism...reading summary of summary of huge novels...injustice to literature..."
He continued.
"and still wants high mark."By now,I knew his tone suggested hard times ahead.I turned immune to the sounds and sights around, engulfed in thoughts of 'anyway I gotta live'.
And then I heard what I had been waiting for.What I had been never hoping for.
"Thus, she stands convicted.I sentence her to 12 years of struggle.No good job,No promising future,No dreams,No hopes,No ...No...No....."
A Life Sentence.
All the Nos stabbed me a million times into a swoon.
I heard a bell ringing somewhere.I was still alive.The sound became more audible.It was ringing straight into my ears.
I opened my eyes.Switched off the alarm.The room was empty.
I don't have the heart to go through it a second time and make a stylistic analysis like i used to do for ur other posts...have been dreading this 'life sentence' right from sem 1...u r not alone if that gives u any consolation
ReplyDeletefarah..u are not alone ;)
ReplyDeletegood to know dt dre is company,bt still...i feel each one of us is alone in this so called battle..
ReplyDelete